The clearing I created did not last long. On my flight towards the center of the mountains, I found myself defending against the searing rain once more. I was almost depleted with energy; was running out of mental will. Another massive attack was not going to be possible anymore. Making it to my destination became a matter of life and death – regardless if both or either possibilities actually existed in this place. Just a little more.

I knew I was rocketing through the air but it felt like an eternity. I feared that the mountain range may have just been an illusion, a mirage; that perhaps invisible forces were just trying to fool me.

During such contemplation, however, I suddenly found myself hovering near the foot of the mountains. The formations of earth moved closer to me like a picture brought up to my face. And now that I have reached them, they didn’t look any special; just brown barren lands that didn’t even have the presence of a single moss.

Except for this mass of soil, all else have been devoured by the lava. I needed to land. A few more moments and I was going to be completely out. I lingered in the sky in search of a good spot. Just then, something glistening came up on my view. A lake.

It was my destination. I was sure of it. A skyscraper away from the water, I un-summoned my forbidden form and turned back into my original self in terrible condition. All I managed to do was let myself fall. The firestorm welcomed the end of this story by abruptly halting.

I hit the lake with a loud splash. For the first time in this whole endeavor, I tasted water. I felt revitalized for a moment. But after several seconds of being submerged, I realized that I was hopelessly sinking. I tried to swim upwards in wild panic… but it was no use. I didn’t know how steep the lake actually ran at the bottom, but its black depths swallowed me whole.

I drowned. Ran out of breath, and died.

A screaming emptiness followed… everything stood still. Yet in all irony, my mind seemed to continue to function; it was like I still had the consciousness to know that I was in a void.

Perhaps it was my soul that awakened; but I opened my eyes feeling that I was still sinking underwater head-first. It was a slow descent and during that time, I no longer had to resist breathing. There was absolutely nothing ahead of me but strangely felt like I was still looking at a definite figure.

A blue glow started flickering gently beneath me. A hymn echoed next; a hum that sounded both divine and sickeningly sorrowful at the same time. Someone – or something – was singing to me, conveying things my entirety needed to find out; things I had to learn.

My spirit spoke to the sad melody. The sacred song’s tune resonated loudly in my head. It was a negotiation. A transaction where there was going to be a huge sacrifice for purchasing an intangible commodity.

Evolution has arrived.

As orbs of fire kept shooting down, I took to the air with a fury I was certain I have never felt. “Heaven” no longer seemed appropriate; hell made the sky its new home. Thick ropes of dazzling flame replaced the clouds and bustled like a sea of dragons against an even more endless ruby.

But my forbidden form was not to be beaten.

My body became one with a mystical kind of fire. I had the wings of an angel but I raged like an inferno. Limitless energy surged through me; I knew I have just gotten invincible – perfect for this concluding battle with fate. I transformed into my own fortress.

All that went my way in mid-air shattered to pieces. A single wave of my hand unleashed an invisible projectile packed with the force of ten missiles. Everything else simply went through my body and disintegrated even before they have completely passed.

The ground below shook mightily, spewing molten lava. I realized that it will not take long for everything beneath to dissolve. I was trapped; I had to stay in flight.

It was a task easier said than done. The power I have harnessed has inevitably started becoming difficult to control. I displayed ferocity on the outside but struggled deep within. I didn’t have to be told that time was running out until I got consumed by it.

An average person would not have lasted, let alone behold the awesome event. It was perhaps the greatest depiction of the end of days: an angelic figure with the wrath of hell itself battling its way through the firestorm.

I felt a pang of sadness upon remembering where I was. This is how much life seemed to hate me… I need to fight even my own subconscious to survive and continue evolving.

It was time. I closed my eyes and prepared for one last great effort.

Now! Opening my eyes, I let my body explode with concentrated beams of flame in every direction. The world felt like it stopped.

My path was finally cleared. I made haste without blinking on a one way flight to the mountains ahead.

The burst of light spread through the entire land and even made me delude myself of having gone blind. I looked up after recovering my eyesight and noticed that the sky was actually clearing – not summer-clear but calm enough based on this place’s standards. One final fist of ice dropped to the ground before the dark clouds ultimately pushed forward, leaving everything in a wet and muddy bedlam.

There I was, attacked by an elemental occurrence which I have always considered as my own psychosomatic power. I was left stunned and without an idea of what to feel. Despite the devastating atmosphere, however, I took a minute to relax. The gem shone again and my wounds slowly healed.

I resumed my travel after some sufficient rest. Needless to say it was no longer a cakewalk. I had to make my way around the rocks and jump the cracks that the lightning storm and the earthquakes have created.

If there is something I know about my life, it is that a single unfortunate event always turns into a series. Fate never seemed to have “respite” in its vocabulary when it comes to me. So while everything seemed relatively peaceful, my gut instinct told me that the worst has yet to manifest itself. I knew that something much bigger was going to happen.

No sooner than finishing such thoughts that another thunder barked from afar. It made me look ahead, towards the direction of the mountains, where I realized that the fast-approaching horizon was a glowing crimson.

My entire body went numb.

This conundrum, as I was just thinking, has dished out its finishing touch on the whole story. I instantly felt a sense of surrender. Earlier, I was assaulted by my psychological force, and now, I had to prepare to engage in a conflict with my spiritual element of raw power. My innermost source of strength was about to collide with me. It didn’t take long for the whole place to turn dark… and red.

The first ball of flame eagerly crashed onto the ground. It began raining fire. I was given no time at all to adjust between being mesmerized and being fearful. I did not need to bet on the determination of each scorching boulder to destroy.

I smiled a bittersweet smile. At the very least, Armageddon has finally arrived. This will all be over soon.

If there is something I know about my life, it is that a single unfortunate event always turns into a series. Fate never seemed to have “respite” in its vocabulary when it comes to me.

But fate also seemed to be missing something in this dimension. Back in the real world, I have recently re-learned how to fight back.

I stood still and closed my eyes. I didn’t know that I can do it, but I had to at least try. It has been a recurring feature on many of my dreams and if I was indeed dreaming, it was my only chance to survive. What I was suddenly planning to do was dangerous; it could end this endeavor right away. Worse, I knew in my heart of hearts that it was very ambitious to attempt leveraging such uncontrollable power once it was unleashed.

I struggled to ignore the anxiety of getting hit and focused deeply on myself. I needed to reach my core to awaken and summon my forbidden form.

Several unfruitful seconds passed. Just when I was about to give up hope, my body more than gradually felt warm. I momentarily pulled away from everything. The rampage around me sounded more and more distant.

A thin scarlet barrier encircled me in perfect timing before a blistering rock headed in my direction. It shattered upon impact on my new means of defense. The transformation has been initiated.

The process was severe. Extreme pain jolted from my every muscle and I began feeling even more drained. My skin opened up from the immense pressure and blood spurted out of the cuts. I was in unimaginable agony. It was taking everything from me – my life force, my will, and all of my strength – but I tried my best to stay focused.

I finally lifted a few feet from the ground. With a piercing cry, I stretched my arms and legs in the air and shone an explosive yellow. I felt every detail of the transformation happen on my body; my armor and clothes dissolved immediately from the searing energy. The switch was complete.

I realized crystal-clear what was happening and where I was before taking flight. The greatest battle between one’s consciousness and its subconscious was about to commence.

I was in my own mind.

This can no longer be a reverie. The entertainment came to an end when my real self assumed the position of my dream self. I still did not know where I was but the pain and the anxiety have definitely become real. Most of all, I was gripped by our divine instinct to fear for our lives.

Moments passed and my dream costume inevitably got beaten down by the hail storm’s tremendous wrath; my body obtained bruises due to its lessened power. I was wounded and I was aching everywhere. Eventually, I realized that the armor had started using my own life force and will as its energy. This made me heal much slower than earlier. By this time, it was only as strong as I was mentally.

Blood dripped from the injuries I sustained while trying to shield myself. I looked around me and chaos was all I saw. Ice relentlessly rocketed down from the heavens by the thousands, creating small craters as they fiercely kissed the earth. It was as if God blew on the clouds to freeze the moisture and the angels sent every icicle hurtling downwards. And while all of these were happening so fast it also seemed like I was witnessing the storm in awesome slow-motion.

I ran with every ounce of my anguish. Ultimately, I stopped caring and just let the frozen cannonballs hit me freely. Even in this fictitious place, life is unable to favor me… so it may as well end here. I wanted to cry out loud but was only capable of silent sobs; was desperate to scream but as always was simply limited to absorbing the hurt inside, never even able to implode. With a cloudy eyesight, I looked back. The faces of those who were ever significant in my past flashed before me. Much of the sudden remembrances tasted bitter. I knew that no one was going to aid me.

An earsplitting roar of thunder signaled the final stages of this apocalypse.

Thin and whitish ribbons of energy looked like they were coming off my pores and flurried around my skin. It was a soft radiance but obvious nonetheless. My eyes were directed to another faint but more luminous shine emanating from the center of my breastplate. I realized then that embedded in it was a small blue gem.

A lightning bolt hit nearby once more, sending a large chunk of debris towards me. At the same time that I made a futile effort to avoid it, I also felt helplessness as I unwillingly watched the improvised projectile. Its trajectory was unmistakable; my reflex was unable to allow me to fully shield myself. I shut my eyes hard and just imagined the excruciating pain I knew I was going to experience next.

Direct hit! The rock blew apart upon impact on my body; the broken down pebbles making loud clattering sounds against my armor. But it was the oddest thing – I opened my eyes and realized that I was completely unscathed. Most of all, that I did not feel anything.

The gem seemed to react to my rising courage as it shone more brightly, intensifying the flow of energy on my body. It was probably actually imbued with magic, and its power was protecting me. “Now this dream’s really something!” With – finally – a sense of control over the entire event, I carried on with my travel headstrong. Neither the lightning nor the debris that the storm was producing harmed me. Everything simply smashed onto or went through me without inflicting any pain. It came to a point where it got entertaining.

Time passed and the immense weather disturbance gradually died down. Except for the swirling cool air, things were pretty much back to normal. I had to have been here for possibly a day now, but for some reason I judged that this place had no day or night. It all began sinking in again. It was hard to explain why but I knew that saying I was lost would be a great understatement. I remembered the sense of relief one feels upon waking up from a nightmare and the idea both gave me hope and made me even more wary. After all, no scientist has ever discovered the equivalent of dream time to real time. Perhaps only a few minutes have actually passed back in reality.

Something that fell on my arm took me away from my thoughts. It was a tiny speck of matter that felt cold, quickly melted, and trickled down to the ground.

It has started raining again, albeit only a harmless drizzle. The temperature also decreased dramatically, confirmed by my impulse to rub my arms. In a split second, something whacked me on the head – hard. My magical clothing still had to be in effect then, but this new event sent a whole new different shiver down my spine.

Hail.

“Impossible! This isn’t fair!,” my mind bellowed. I have always regarded myself as an ice storm out of all the forces of nature. I thought of hail as one of our environment’s greatest form of deception: it has an ironic tranquility behind its equally catastrophic ramifications. Not the most feared or the most usual but as devastating. An underrated killer.

And in this cruel coincidence, I was about to face it.

The rush of these ideas reminded me of my true state outside of wherever this place was… in reality. Of how evenly bewildering our own blizzards are compared to this calamity; of how life had an uncanny resemblance to what has happened and is happening in this place. In parallel to such remembrance, my real self got sledge-hammered to merge with this dream self. I rapidly weakened; the gem on my armor lost some of its brilliance.

Ice the size of fists continued falling from the atmosphere wildly. The pounding rain of cold terror did not show any remorse. Just then, a startling jab happened on my back. And for the first time… pain.

I stretched my arms to reach the spot that was hit. While my mysterious armor was still clearly working, no amount of consolation could’ve averted the rise of panic within me. I held out my hand in front of me and saw that it was smeared by blood.

I shook from fear. My human susceptibility has finally been exposed. For some reason, I believed too – or felt – that the line between dreams and the reality has been broken, and the two worlds were about to collide in this astonishing incident.

My legs felt like I have already been on foot for close to half a day so I stopped. To my dismay, the mountains ahead also did not look any nearer than when I laid eyes on them the first time. I looked back to where I came from and realized that it was as if I haven’t traveled at all. It seemed like I was walking on a treadmill and the land was just corner-to-corner wallpaper.

The skies, however, have definitely gone darker. Hundreds of flashes of lightning branched out in the clouds in an eerily illuminating display. Tornado-like gusts of winds whipped my body that the mere act of standing straight became a chore. With a forearm covering my eyes, I resumed my strides.

I still had no idea whatsoever where I was. To make matters worse, my gut instinct also kept whispering to me that something was coming; that nothing about this place was going to be banal.

Perhaps aliens abducted me during my slumber? I immediately dismissed the preposterous possibility. Or maybe I was transported to the prehistoric past? There are no dinosaurs, though; it even strongly seemed like I was the only living creature on this patch of land at the moment.

Suddenly, the ground directly beneath me growled loudly. With bone-chilling sounds of cracking, the floor quickly split in two. “Dammit!” My reaction was a little too late and my jump to the other side fell short. My fingers narrowly clipped the edge of the underground wall. With a mighty effort, I hoisted myself up from the newly-formed cliff and propped down on a boulder. It was too close that I almost smelled the scent of death. I looked down and heard the dark depth digging itself deeper. “Just great. What could happen next?”

I sat up after letting the adrenaline settle. The quakes have become more violent… I knew I had to be more careful. In an abrupt converse, the shaking discontinued. It was as if this entire place was listening in on my thoughts because the other anomalies died down as well.

But the silence was short lived.

In fact, it only lasted for half a minute as the skies started manifesting a fury I was instantly certain no one has ever witnessed. The wind’s new-found power created sharp whistles in between its squalls and threw me a few feet away. And as if things could not get any worse, the now labyrinths of raw electricity above have found a new target: everything below.

A lightning storm!

Paralyzed while beholding the horrific sight, a bolt struck somewhere within my proximity. Lightning and earth met in a shattering crash. I remained too overwhelmed to will myself even just to move a hair. With no other reliable choice, I left my fate to luck and my luck to fate. I pressed my hands hard on my ears, knelt, and bowed onto the ground.

Unexpectedly, my armor began to feel cold. Stone-cold.

I was glowing.

I finally touched ground after falling for what seemed like an eternity.

Still feeling a bit dizzy from the drop, I tried to stand up with shaky legs – an effort that proved futile as I simply crumbled upon my quick hands from being unable to support my weight.

I looked up and around me. It appears that I have been transported to another world, or dimension, and there was nothing else in sight but land; one that had the similar infinity an ocean deludes us with in its horizon. Above were gloomy skies that glittered with frequent flashes of light within the clouds due to lightning. Loud roars of thunder followed each one to near-deafening proportions.

“Where am I?,” my mind asked.

A dream. This must be a dream. Yes. I remember freshening up for sleep: washed my face, brushed my teeth, arranged the pillows, and laid on the bed. So why did I feel more awake than ever?

Suddenly, I realized what I was wearing. I touched what felt like some animal’s skin underneath a very thin and ragged metallic armor. I thought if I was to enter a battle surely I will be instantly out even by the minor hit of a zipping arrow due to its overall crudeness. This was beginning to shape up like the oddest dream.

My attention was then caught by the loud rumbling of the ground. That’s when I noticed that the earth frequently shook; gradually cracking the floor. The wind has picked up as well, and I saw that the dark clouds above have started racing towards me. While being mesmerized with the unfamiliar surrounding, my eyes got fixed on shadowy figures in front.

Mountains.

They were the only things present on the sprawling terrain, and seemed to be very distant from where I stood. For some reason, I felt certain that I needed to get there. A rush began inside me, like I was a battery-operated toy robot jump-started to life.

Standing up once more, this time a little easier and steadier, I started to walk.

We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time; more degrees, but less common sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness.

These are the days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken homes. These are the days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw-away morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies, and drugs, alcohol, and tobacco that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill.

We spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too seldom, watch TV and listen to music too much, criticize too quickly, and appreciate too seldom.

We have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways and travel opportunities, but narrower viewpoints; we earn and spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy them less.

These are the times of fastfoods and slow digestion; more kinds of food, but less nutrition; more leisure and less fun; tall people and short characters; steep profits, and shallow relationships. These are the times of world peace, but there’s domestic warfare and strife.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, lie too often, and love too seldom. We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life; we’ve added years to life, not life to years.

We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet and occassionally invite the new neighbor to gatherings. We’ve conquered outer space, but not inner space; we’ve done larger things, but not better things; we’re cleaning up the air, land, and sea, but continue to pollute our soul; we’ve split the atom and the cell, but not our prejudice; we write more, but learn less; plan more, but accomplish less.

We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait; we have higher incomes, but lower morals; more food and possessions but less appeasement; more acquaintances, but fewer friends; more effort, but less success. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but have less communication and respect for the wisdom of the elders; we’ve become long on quantity, but short on quality. This world seems to glory in form… without substance.

When people are impersonal. When my role in the society and ecosystem becomes more complex and confusing, I am glad to be one of the growing number of activists for the environment and indigenous knowledge. A plain son to my parents, a plain brother to my fraternity, and a plain Mimon to my friends. When this world provides no comfort and peace, I am blessed to be able to turn to my Creator for salvation and assurance.

This is probably one of the rarest times in Pop Culture and Less when I will unhesitatingly wear my heart out on my sleeve.

To confirm the above title: yes, I do – and I’m ending up giving myself romance inferno because of it.

Last year was when it doomed on me that I have finally entered fierce adulthood. Finances slumped at 1,000,000 miles per hour towards hell, and the event was pretty much a bitter farewell to the good ol’ days when I was the one capable of being magnanimous and be such almost never without thinking twice.

It had already been half a year then that we have fallen into the habit of living separate lives. I took the chance nonetheless and borrowed. The pride it required was humongous and painful to swallow; it felt like eating cactus especially while you stood there sensing the great doubt.

Today, I find myself more unable to be the jokester that I am during our fleeting interactions. I was never let in ever since; to this day, I am still knocking. Couple that after the flashing of the STOP sign on my face with the remembrance that I am in debt, you do the math and figure out how it feels.

Perhaps I haven’t really gotten over the entire affair no matter how I show the world otherwise. ‘Cause there I was, thinking that I have found what we all naturally seek in our lifetimes, only to realize later on that I may have loved much more than I was loved. I don’t need 5 minutes or 5 seconds to decide whether or not I should go ten extra miles; and had the situation been the other way around, I’d write similar arrears on water, reservation absent. It’s the timeless battle of conditioned vs. unconditioned.

Next month, I’ll do whatever it takes to sacrifice usual expenses just to raise the imbursement. I will then promise myself that the transaction will be the last thing we’ll ever do together… so I can start learning to become the most conditional bastard anyone has ever seen. Just kidding. But I’ll move on. And when I ultimately get lucky – in the truest sense of the word – I’ll look back and be thankful because I was able to make a move that secured me a berth in paradise.

UPDATE: Forgot to ever say that this debt has been paid.

Idesperately need to scoop myself out of this boredom blackhole that has been relentlessly sucking me in for weeks now, so I thought perhaps that I could blog. I went to reading through my favorite blogs (with the little knowledge of the blogosphere I currently have). I stumbled upon several interesting entries such as the latest American Idol recap on Vote For the Worst (hilarious, I tell ya, hilarious!) and Kim’s meme (whatever a meme is – help?) which included 5 questions that are certain to make anyone who likes blogwriting drool. The first question which asks for the origin of your blog quickly put me to a daydream about unleashing on my trustee notepad to share all my anger and angst.

I didn’t do it though.

Why? It never felt right the entire time I was trying to rip the questions from her blog to mine. I mean, it was like carrying my originality to the altar just for the sake of a quick blogging fix. True, there are tons of stuff out there which can make me say, “Damn, I wish I thought of blabbing about that first!,” but I think that’s just about what these entries can ultimately do for you: make you enjoy them as part of the audience. I also thought twice on writing about how pimped Jordin Sparks has been over Melinda Doolittle in the last couple of weeks on American Idol or how Martina Hingis appears to be frail lately especially in her titanic struggle/match against Kateryna Bondarenko at the Qatar Telecom German Open, but it’s just not worth it… yet. I may be having difficulty finding time (and reasons) to blog these days but I decided “taking inspiration” from one’s entry is hardly self-gratifying.

I guess it really is this hard to come up with a topic to talk about – but I’m not sure if it’s just an “at least for me” thing – seizing that blog moment. There are many things to notice and witness out there but I’m sure it’s rare that your blog fancy will be thoroughly captured. So thanks to my sheer brilliance (thank you); it allowed me to turn things around and blog about this nothingness that seems to be here to stay. If I can’t write about anything, then I’ll write about not having anything to write about. Senseless, but satisfying. Heh.

Anyway, I have also been preparing myself for some time now to write about what might potentially be the Pop Culture and Less breakthrough entry. I have seized that blog moment long ago but have yet to find the groove to sit down on it. Wish me luck!